The more evil you are, the more the Devil will want you soul, so he'll be offering you more Soul Dollars!

Question 1 of 15

Do you help old ladies across the street, or kick them when they fall over?

I help them across the street all the time. I also make sure to steal their welfare checks from their purse.

Neither. They should be able to help themselves.

I suppose I kick them. More than once.

I'm usually the reason they fell down in the first place.

Question 2 of 15

If there's a line for something, do you stand and wait patiently?

I drop a couple of snakes on the ground near the middle and watch the line... Disappear...

Sort of. I strike up a conversation with someone in the middle of the line, pretending to know them, and I slip quietly in behind them.

I vomit on the man in front of me, hopefully clearing a path to the front

No. I set fire to the line.

I stand in line and wait my turn. For several hours, if I have to.

Question 3 of 15

You go to the bank and there's a robbery in progress, what do you do?

I join in, looks like fun!

Point loudly at the nearest person and yell "they're calling the cops!"

I do as I'm told, and wait patiently for it to be over.

I try and be a hero.

Leave. I was going to do the exact same thing.

Question 4 of 15

You have a fistfull of useless change, what are you going to do with it?

Throw it into a fountain. Making sure people are playing there, first.

Climb to the top of a very tall building and drop the coins, just to see if the rumour about them hitting someone is true.

Shake it in the face of a homeless person.

Spend it. That's my cigarette money.

Glue it to the ground and laugh as people hopelessly try to pick it up.

Question 5 of 15

You're walking past a building and it's on fire, a man nearby asks you to help him, as there may be survivors inside.

Why would I help him? I started that fire in the first place.

Call the police and tell them I saw the man in front of me purposefully set fire to the building.

I'd leave the scene; I could do without that kind of trouble.

I'd push the man into the fire.

Make sure the fire department had been called and also that an ambulance was on the way.

Question 6 of 15

You're traveling by train and there's someone that's talking just a little too loudly on their cell phone. What do you do?

Nothing. I'd just have to grit my teeth and bear it, hoping they get off at the next stop.

I'd throw the phone from the train. Followed by the owner.

I'd knock the phone out of their hand.

I'd take their phone and break it over their head.

I'd throw something at their head, and then duck down, hopefully they wont see me.

Question 7 of 15

You're a doctor and you've just lost a patient. Their family is waiting outside in the waiting room, what do you do?

Take the eldest to one side, and then explain to them what happened, so that they can then inform the others.

Cover myself with fake blood, pick up a fire axe, and calmly tell the family what happened

Get someone else to do it, I've got paperwork to fill out.

Exclaim loudly: "Here we go again, 5th one today" and then tell them what happened.

I'd naturally and rationally tell the family the situation. But dressed as a clown, scarring them for life.

Question 8 of 15

You're in an airplane and it's starting to nosedive, the pilot says he needs volunteers to help him, how do you help?

Run around screaming "we're all gonna die!" at the top of my voice.

Say no, grab the only parachute, and jump out of the plane.

Throw the pilot out. He was useless anyway.

Calm everyone down, and ask my buddy Chuck Norris to help me land the plane. All to the soundtrack of every 80s movie ever.

Question 9 of 15

A call has just come from your bank and they're informing you that you're bankrupt, what's the next thing you do?

Kill myself.

Kill the bank manager.

Hatch an elaborate plan to kidnap the bank's president, in order to ransom him off and be in the money once more.

Inform the bank that they've reached Joey's Pizza Palace, and that I no longer live here.

Call the bank back and frantically try to resolve the situation.

Question 10 of 15

You're out on a first date and have gone for a wonderful meal, then the check arrives. How do you split it?

50/50. It's only fair.

50/50. With them paying both halves.

I'd pay for the whole meal, as it's what any polite person would.

I'd break a glass and mix it in with the food. Loudly exclaiming that I cant believe the chef would do such a thing, and I'd demand the meal be free of charge.

I'd ask if I could just quickly go to the bathroom, and then escape out of the window.

Question 11 of 15

What's the best way to avoid war?

Avoid it? Why would you want to do that?

War! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

As quickly as possible, by striking when their back is turned and they least expect it! Bwahaha!

Don't elect George Bush.

Question 12 of 15

What's your opinion on violence in the media?

Most of it's about me.

There's not enough of it.

I reckon it's a good way to educate children on the way the world really works.

It bores me. And occasionally interrupts my favorite shows.

Question 13 of 15

You're out with a group of friends late at night, in the bad part of town. Suddenly a couple of people you don’t know appear and they're holding guns. What do you do?

Push my friends into them and run away.

Wait until my friends had run away, and then congratulate the others on a great practical joke.

Give in to their demands and hand over whatever money they ask for, hopefully no one will get hurt.

Tell them my mother always told me to never talk to strangers.

No one steals from me! I'd beat those guys down!

Question 14 of 15

Have you ever seen a dead body?

No, I'm fortunate enough to have avoided that so far.

Only once, it was a relative.

Yep, even caused a fair few myself.

Yes, and I was arrested shortly after.

Yeah, and then I ate it.

Question 15 of 15

If you had a choice between having lot of money and no love in your life, or lots of love and no money, which would you choose?

A lot of money, because then I'd be able to BUY love.

Love, I guess. After I've sold my soul, I wont need money!

None of them. I'd live as a pirate on the open seas, with neither love nor money.

I'd have money. I don't want love. All I need is money. Lots of money.